Let’s go backwards this time.
I am sitting next to the A/C because I haven’t figured out how it can be blowing cold air yet the room feels like a sauna. There are blood stains behind the bathroom door and the decor is mid 1960s. The outside looks like a free clinic with adjoining rooms for the terminally ill. The good news is that this is the last hotel I’d have to experiment with. One stop was eliminated to add to this final one. “Why,” you may ask. Well, I’m going to get a tour of my new school tomorrow. Graduate school, that is. In the middle of nowhere. I am not exaggerating. The closest eatery to campus is twenty miles away. I have to attend a workshop next month for more than a week and I refuse to share a campus room so I will be checking out cheap, wham-bam, roadside roach motels to save some money. I may be spared, however, and be able to rent at a cheap chain hotel. I’ve barely slept since I started this vacation so I will present myself to my new school adviser with bags under my eyes reminiscent to a seventy year old woman’s breasts. Yes, I will look like John Hurt in “1984.”
So enough of the future. Let’s talk about the previous stay at northern Georgia. I ate in one night and ordered Chinese which very nearly killed me. I swear to you: this was the worst food I have ever eaten. It kept me in the bathroom half the night. Never again. What else? Oh, yeah, I almost needed a step stool to get on the bed. It was THAT HIGH off the floor. The love seat had armrests for people with arms with an 164 inch wingspan. In other words, my elbows would rest parallel to my face. Good thing I don’t suffer from sweaty armpits.
There are more adventures that await me, I’m sure. I still have the drive back. For the first time ever, I will be happy to get back home. However, I can guarantee you that at this time next year, I will be enjoying cool temps somewhere in the North Pole.

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