Rant #001 – e.g., on P.C., Pt. 1

RANT #001

Let me start off by possibly offending you: “Political correctness is a mental sickness.” It is censorship of free speech. Is it offensive to some? Yes. But there are MANY things that are offensive to me that no one gives a fuck about. So who gets to determine what should be banned and what should be accepted? Personally, I don’t give a rat’s ass about the criteria used. I am not or will ever be politically correct. I am who I’ve always been and will remain that way. Obviously, this cannot be an exclusive philosophy. Everyone has to deal with some sort of criteria for certain situations. For example, a junior high school teacher must watch his or her P’s and Q’s around those very sensitive children. You can’t have a class discussion about Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles or All in the Family’s Archie Bunker (Let’s not forget to mention George Jefferson since this is the yin and yang of pre-PC comedy).

When did the bullshit begin? Let me take a quick guess: cigarette smoking. You can’t smoke in theaters, hotels, restaurants, buildings, sports arenas, even bars because it’s “offensive”.

But before you begin an argument with me, let’s analyze the definition for political incorrectness. Most interpretations for this term agree that it is an attitude or policy where someone does not care if it offends or upsets people(s) with a disadvantage (pls., define) or have been treated differently because of sex, race, or disability. So . . . they’re talking about discrimination. However, terms like this carry a hefty, fluffy GRAY AREA which can be recalled at any given moment. The aforementioned examples are proof. While some will consider Bunker and Jefferson politically incorrect individuals, others with similar ideologies will be quick to label them rude, stupid, mindless, or any of hundreds of adjectives. These are the “superiors” of society; those whose shit don’t smell. These are the individuals who really started this expurgation. They are the serial killers of comedy. Let me explain with another example: Blazing Saddles, a 1974 Mel Brooks film, is considered racist (another word which has ceased to have any logical and/or specific meaning because of its overuse). Sure, the “N” word is mentioned but the person being referred to quickly destroys any assumption that the white race is superior. Actually, actor Cleavon Little explicitly debunks any idea about white supremacy by exposing the era’s white man’s (and woman’s) intense ignorance. So, tit for tat, right? Not for all. They will argue that it is not okay to mention the “N” word while it’s okay to use any other offensive name for any other race. So . . . what if you’re a black, Caribbean Latino? A black Jew? A white Rastafarian?

Oh, am I politically incorrect because I said Black? What’s the term you’re supposed to use this week, then? It seems to change every time someone decides the previous term is offensive. What about Orientals? God forbid! You mean Asians, right? Yeah, nice argument but Asia is huge and Japanese don’t like being confused for Chinese and Koreans don’t like being confused for Filipino. And so on and so on because India is located in Southeast Asia. My take on this: You’re all full of shit and if you are offended, live with it. Nothing in life is fair and people make mistakes all the time. You are human. . .period!

I mention in the first paragraph that there are many things I find offensive that have not been “approved by the superiors”. OK, I find people with bad body odor offensive whether the smell comes from bad hygiene or a physiological disorder. So why should I accept this? NO, dude! Shower once in a while, you bastard and if it’s not bad hygiene, wear cologne, perfume, splash yourself with Scope or spray yourself with Lysol. Should I continue? What about individuals who “flatulates” in public loudly? Oh, yeah . . . “farts” not “flatulates.” What about burping loudly in public or spitting up phlegm on sidewalks?

Many of these will not be considered political incorrectness while others will . . . if it fits the current agenda. Yes, the biases are unending. Stereotyping and profiling will always exist because utilizing these currently unaccepted traits will help catch your neighborhood thief or drug trafficker. It will help you detect bullies and sex offenders. Again, here we use the gray zone to benefit those who seek positive results. The fact is that a stereotype becomes a stereotype by documenting a repeated issue whether it is behavioral or physical. “Am I implying something?” “they” will ask. Don’t care. Everything nowadays is either racist, sexist, misogynistic, islamophobic, homophobic, and all the other labels used these days whenever someone is “frustrated” over something. Yes, people, it’s all superficial. It’s the manipulation of freedoms. This is why I am not offended whenever I am called any of the terms just noted. If anything, being called any of these names will make me feel good because the verbal abuser has proven to me how much more intellectually advanced I am. See? Two can play the same game.



Let’s go backwards this time.
I am sitting next to the A/C because I haven’t figured out how it can be blowing cold air yet the room feels like a sauna. There are blood stains behind the bathroom door and the decor is mid 1960s. The outside looks like a free clinic with adjoining rooms for the terminally ill. The good news is that this is the last hotel I’d have to experiment with. One stop was eliminated to add to this final one. “Why,” you may ask. Well, I’m going to get a tour of my new school tomorrow. Graduate school, that is. In the middle of nowhere. I am not exaggerating. The closest eatery to campus is twenty miles away. I have to attend a workshop next month for more than a week and I refuse to share a campus room so I will be checking out cheap, wham-bam, roadside roach motels to save some money. I may be spared, however, and be able to rent at a cheap chain hotel. I’ve barely slept since I started this vacation so I will present myself to my new school adviser with bags under my eyes reminiscent to a seventy year old woman’s breasts. Yes, I will look like John Hurt in “1984.”
So enough of the future. Let’s talk about the previous stay at northern Georgia. I ate in one night and ordered Chinese which very nearly killed me. I swear to you: this was the worst food I have ever eaten. It kept me in the bathroom half the night. Never again. What else? Oh, yeah, I almost needed a step stool to get on the bed. It was THAT HIGH off the floor. The love seat had armrests for people with arms with an 164 inch wingspan. In other words, my elbows would rest parallel to my face. Good thing I don’t suffer from sweaty armpits.
There are more adventures that await me, I’m sure. I still have the drive back. For the first time ever, I will be happy to get back home. However, I can guarantee you that at this time next year, I will be enjoying cool temps somewhere in the North Pole.